You said it, Big Mac.
This is taking forever!
I know it's wrong to cut corners
when it comes to gifts from the heart but,
this is an emergency, right?
Eeyup.
Discord? A little help?
Discord!
Yeah?
Good idea!
Captain Wuzz!
Are you prepared to enter the world of Ogres & Oubliettes?
Huzzah, fellow adventurers!
Shall we storm the ramparts of Squizard's castle
to reclaim Calico's Ring of Imperceptibility?
You did summon me for a rousing Guys' Night
of Ogres & Oubliettes, did you not?
Uh, sort of.
But do you think you could magically
hurry up this pie real quick first?
You seem to be mixing up the Lord of Chaos
with a second-rate clown magician for hire.
Eee... wait!
This needs to go in the mail today,
or it'll never get to Sugar Belle in time for Hearts and Hooves Day!
Please. Can't you see that that holiday
is a commercialized ruse pushed on you
by the greeting card industry?
Fine. You owe me for this.
Keep your eye on the pie.
It's magic time!
This smells... uh...
palatable.
Well, pies really are Sugar Belle's thing.
But I think that makes this all the more special.
It shows you're interested in what she cares about.
Eeyup!
And he's planning a big romantic Hearts and Hooves dinner.
It was my idea to bake the invitation inside.
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle.
Meet me in my barn at sunset for a surprise.
Pretty clever, huh?
Eeyup.
"Sugar Belle".
See?
Well, you two certainly have bought
into this romance nonsense hook, line, and sinker.
For a formerly friendless immortal despot, you're pretty cynical.
I'm a realist.
And love, like all things warm and fuzzy, isn't real.
Aw, come on.
You act tough, but deep down, you're a softie.
I mean, you don't have tea with Fluttershy
every weekend because you like tea.
But I do like tea!
Every tea! All the teas!
Chamomile, Earl Grey, green, white, yellow,
mate, lemon, ginger, chai, spearmint, peppermint, hibiscus...
...cinnamon, pumpkin spice.
Tell you what. While Big Mac mails his incredibly romantic gesture,
I'll show you the splendors of Hearts and Hooves Day in Ponyville.
I bet I can prove you believe in love.
Fine. Call it a gentleman's wager.
Loser mows my lawn for eternity.
Is it, like, a riding mower or...?
Tweezers!
Hear ye, hear ye!
This special Hearts and Hooves Day meetin'
of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is now in session!
First order of business – helpin' my big brother
decorate the barn for his big date with Sugar Belle tonight, and...
Hello?
It seems like everypony's got somepony special but us.
When's it gonna be our turn?
Who's it from?
Can't tell. It's all smudged,
but it looks like it's addressed to... "Belle"?
Sweetie Belle!
Somepony certainly went through a lot of trouble for me!
On Hearts and Hooves Day!
You don't think...
Could it be...?
Hang on a minute.
Mysterious package, smudged address,
no idea who it's from...
I know what this is.
You've got a secret admirer!
Another Hearts and Hooves Day. Love is in the air, Discord.
Look at all these happy couples.
How can they be happy if they aren't playing Ogres & Oubliettes?
As a great dragon poet once wrote to his beloved,
I love you with the utmost clarity. I love you, dear.
My sweet, sweet Rarity— Are you even listening?!
Of course.
Love is... something-something, and Discord is great.
I don't know.
Can we play O&O now?
Sure, after you admit you believe in love and...
Sugar Belle!
Big Mac's girlfriend.
What's she doing in town so early?
Well, Sugar Belle, I'm sure Big Mac won't be expecting it.
She's planning her own romantic surprise for Big Mac?
What if she goes to Sweet Apple Acres
before Big Mac's ready with his surprise?
We've gotta warn him!
Mig Bac... Mig Bac...!
I mean, Big Mac! We just saw Sugar Belle!
She's at Sugarcube Corner!
But I think she's on her way over here now!
You gotta keep her away from here until the barn's finished!
Eeyup!
I wonder what she has planned for him.
We don't have to wonder.
Will you warn me next time you do that?
Just be honest with him.
I'm sure Big Mac will...
She hasn't seen him yet.
Take note, Discord.
This is what love is all about.
Spike – Love is about spying in the bushes.
Make fun of me all you want.
But look at Big Mac's face
and tell me you don't believe in love.
I hope he'll be okay without me.
Hey. We're just...
not spying—
Hush!
I mean, he has been on his own before.
So he'll be fine, right?
How should I tell Big Mac tonight?
You won't need to come visit me in my village anymore?
We need to talk.
Just be honest with him.
You're right. Okay!
We're finished.
You're right.
She did surprise him.
Okay. Things seem bad.
Maybe they're really not.
Maybe "we're finished" was about the day.
Ponies say that, right?
Like-like, "Hey, remember yesterday?
That's finished, 'cause it's today!"
Maybe not that.
Oh, I know!
Maybe Sugar Belle has a wacky cousin who's never been on his own,
and she has to leave him in charge of her shop
while she apprentices with Mrs. Cake,
who does that, like, two days a week.
N-No, no, three.
That's why she won't need you to come
to her village anymore, because...
she'll already be here!
Nah. I don't even buy that one.
She takes pie-baking seriously!
Why'd I even try?!
I bet she thought I...
I was making fun of her!
Oh, I hate seeing you like this, Big Mac.
And over a girl, no less.
I'm calling an emergency Guys' Night
right now to cheer you up.
Besides, we can't have you ruining any more
of my thousand-year-old monogrammed handkerchiefs.
These are silk, you know.
Class is now in session.
Lesson one – nothing can break your heart
if you only love yourself.
You've got to show everypony that you're too cool
to be bothered with so-called love.
Observe.
This is how cool guys lean against things.
When you see a guy leaning against a thing looking this cool,
you think, "Wow! That guy doesn't have
a care in Equestria.
Not a guy who leans on things that cool."
I don't think leaning's gonna help.
Am I doing it right?
We're not like you, Discord.
We can't put on a front and pretend not to love.
It's impossible.
Lesson two – plenty of ponies in the pasture.
Right, Big Mac?
I know just the gal to make you forget
all about Sugar Belle.
You... said... her...
naaaaaaame!
Okay.
We finished decoratin' the barn for Big Mac,
which means we got the rest of the day to ourselves.
There's a whole town of possible admirers
out there and only three of us.
But together, we're gonna get to the bottom of this!
Ready?
Break!
Excuse me!
Pipsqueak?
Mind answerin' a few questions?
No?
Late for somethin'?
Are you Sweetie Belle's secret admirer?!
Excuse me!
I'm doing a research survey about sending
pie in the mail anonymously.
Would you say you're pro-that or anti-that?
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!
Did you boys happen to send any packages to me recently?
It's okay to say no!
I won't be offended!
Please say no, please say no, please say no.
Sir McBigguns, meet Skelenor.
She's a Level 18 Bone Warrior in Squizard's mage army,
but only to pay off skeleton student loan debts.
Get to know each other, why don't you?
You're really going all out to cheer up Big Mac.
I'm impressed.
Yes, yes, I'm amazing.
Anyway, since we're in the neighborhood,
care for a quick game of Ogres & Oubliettes?
Like I've been wanting to play all week?!
I take it back.
I'm helping our friend first and foremost.
See for yourself.
I think he's showing her a picture of Sugar Belle.
What?
And now he's crying.
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no.
No, he's not.
Let me see that.
Don't touch it!
I'm looking!
Give me that!
Cut it out! Discord, quit it!
She used to do this thing where
her-her nose would wrinkle when she laughed.
Right there, in that hole where your nose used to be.
I never told her how much I loved wrinkle-nose cutie-face...
and now I never will!
Okay. I think we've had enough of the aloof
master of chaos remedies for a broken heart.
You know what I do when I have a problem too big to solve?
I hide from it! When she can't find you,
she'll realize how much she misses you.
Plus, if she can't find you, she can't break up with you.
Eeyup.
I don't get it.
We asked every stallion in Ponyville.
There's gotta be somepony we're missin'.
Somepony obvious.
Somepony right in front of our noses.
Oh, well.
At least the barn's looking great for Big Mac's date.
Too bad there won't be a date.
Sugar Belle is so lucky to have
a non-secret admirer like Big Mac.
Well, she certainly doesn't seem to have appreciated it.
I bet she's gonna take one look at this barn and say,
What did I ever do to deserve this?
Yes, what did she do to deserve this?
She broke my heart.
Well, not yet, technically.
In fact, she can't break your heart if you break hers first.
Eeyup!
Thanks for the tour of Ponyville, Mrs. Cake.
Oh, my pleasure.
I'm off to surprise Big Mac with the news.
Imagine the look on his face when I tell him,
We need to talk.
Oh, dear me, no!
I told you, don't say it that way
or he'll think you're breaking up with him.
Break up with him?
Never!
Why, without my favorite delivery pony,
I couldn't imagine being happy ever again.
He knows that.
Good!
Save your mix-up for cake batter –
that's what I always say!
He's a good listener, that pony.
I promise you, no mix-ups.
Big Mac!
Sugar Belle...
we need to talk.
I know why you're here.
You do?
But I have somethin' to tell you first.
Oh, can I go first?
I'm gonna be—
Stop.
Why don't we tell each other on three?
One—
It's over!
What's over?
You and me.
It's over.
Ah... What?
We're breakin' up!
I... don't understand.
Why are you breaking up with me?
And why are you leaning like that?
I... don't know!
Big Mac, please.
Talk to me.
I... You...
This is why I don't like talkin'!
Words can hurt!
Words hurt!
Goodbye, Sugar Belle!
Big Mac!
Oh, thank goodness!
You gotta help us with this.
Dude, how long have you been not hiding?
I should probably have said something.
Y'all should go.
Did ya...?
Did she...?
Are ya...?
Big Mac, what's goin' on?
Where's Sugar Belle?
Just go!
But we worked so hard on this chart.
I think we've almost cracked it.
If you could just—
Not right now!
But I can't stand having a secret admirer
who's too scared to tell me who he is!
Maybe he doesn't like talkin'!
But that doesn't make any sense!
Maybe he used to talk too much,
and it only ever got him into trouble!
What if you're right, Discord?
What if love isn't real at all?
I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle.
I'm just mad, and I'm takin' it out on you.
That's okay.
I bet it felt good to get it out though.
Actually, it did.
Tellin' you how I felt just then...
I gotta go!
Big Mac!
Where are ya goin'?
I gotta talk to Sugar Belle!
Discord, you gotta use your magic and...!
Guess you have better things to do.
Big Mac's gonna need a miracle.
All the rotten luck...
Caught ya just in time!
We both know I don't like to say much,
but I'm gonna say somethin' now.
Even though I'm hurtin',
I wouldn't trade this feelin' for anythin'.
Because it'd mean givin' up the good times we had, too.
I only broke up with you
because you were gonna break up with me.
I respect your decision,
and you should know you'll always be in my heart.
I didn't want to break up with you.
But... you said you didn't need me to visit anymore.
You said I'm gonna be on my own.
I-I heard you said "we're finished"
when I was hidin' in the bushes.
That sounds worse than it is.
Oh, Big Mac!
I was talking about my cousin!
I have this wacky cousin who's never been on his own,
but I have to let him run my shop on weekends.
Which is why you won't be delivering
to my village anymore because
I'll already be here apprenticing with Mrs. Cake,
who does that two days a week.
No, three.
Wait 'til I tell Spike!
I'd never break up with you!
I suppose there's a lesson here somewhere about communication,
talking instead of assuming,
or eavesdropping is wrong.
Wouldn't you say?
Eeeeyup!
Wrinkle-nose cutie-face.
You must've been awful confused at my breakin' up
with you after you got my pie.
What pie?
You didn't get the pie I sent?
Or the invitation?
Well, in that case...
allow me to escort you to a Hearts and Hooves Day surprise!
Mind if we join ya?
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Sugar Belle.
Meet me—
Sugar Belle?!
You have got to be pulling our hooves!
It was all a mix-up?!
Oh, it's funny.
I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself
for not having a special pony on Hearts and Hooves Day.
But remembering all the fun we had,
I think I have two special ponies –
my two best friends.
And so ends another Hearts and Hooves Day.
Despite a bumpy start...
and middle...
and ending...
lot of bumps today...
love was in the air.
So was confusion, apparently,
and a fair number of assumptions.
But you have to admit,
after seeing everything Big Mac went through,
love is a hundred percent real.
Seriously?! Discord, come on!
I can't believe you!
Who do you think broke Sugar Belle's wagon wheel?
Ta-da! Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!
You old softie.
I knew you had a heart.
Speaking of how great I am,
are you busy for the rest of the night?
Calico's Ring of Imperceptibility
is going to reclaim itself, you know.
Ogres & Oubliettes?
I thought you'd never ask!
Oh, and... just wondering. No biggie, but...
is Skelenor gonna be there?
Spike, she's an imaginary one-dimensional paper cutout skeleton.
Well, nopony's perfect.
Subtitles: MLPSubtitles
http://mlpsubtitles.org/
Transcript: OmegaBowser
Sync: OmegaBowser